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How to masturbate: 21 tips and tricks for women
What is female masturbation?
Female masturbation is when you touch your body for sexual pleasure when you are female (duh!). People usually touch their genitals and often reach orgasm levels, though not always. Most people masturbate to enjoy sexual pleasure and to relieve sexual tension.

Masturbation has a physical, mental, emotional and even spiritual component. It obviously involves the body, but the act of thinking, reading, listening or watching while we masturbate also involves the mind and emotions.

What gets us off is unique to each person’s mind-body system.

It sounds strange to think of masturbation as spiritual, since many cultures and religions have shamed it throughout history. However, masturbation has the potential to help us connect more with our bodies, our breath and the present moment.

Builds confidence
By learning and appreciating the things that bring us pleasure, we can gain a deeper understanding of our personal needs. When we’re in the bedroom with our partner, this helps throughout life!

By exploring what is good for you and allowing yourself to enjoy all the sensations and feelings, masturbation can be a source of personal empowerment. When you know how you tick and are willing to let go of the waves of pleasure, you build inner confidence and self-belief.

Masturbation can be scary at first!

But with a stronger connection to yourself, it becomes easier to say “yes” to what you really want and “no” to what you really don’t want – both sexually and in life.

How to masturbate for women: But first, why?
Alfred Kinsey, the first American sex researcher, and colleagues asserted, “But of all types of sexual activity, masturbation is the one in which women most often achieve orgasm” (shorturl.at/jHR58).

If that’s not reason enough, I don’t know what is!

But more specifically, in a study of 765 women, participants reported five main reasons for engaging in masturbation.

For pleasure
To get to know their bodies
Sense of release
They didn’t have a partner
General sexual dissatisfaction
“General sexual dissatisfaction” includes a range of reasons, such as avoiding sex with a partner, feeling unsatisfied, angry or bored after having sex with a partner.

In addition, some women find that masturbating at the beginning of their periods helps reduce their menstrual flow.

But back to Kinsey’s claim-what is the point of masturbation?

Yes, women are more likely to have orgasms in this way (yes!) But that’s not the point – it’s still the only point. Many people take a targeted approach to masturbation (and sex) in an attempt to “achieve” orgasm. Hey, if you’ve got five minutes to get to work, do it now!

Indeed, the point of masturbation is to feel good. And it has.

If masturbation includes an orgasm (or four), that’s great! If there are no orgasms at all, that’s great too. The goal is just to help yourself feel good in some way. Yes, it can be frustrating if you want to have an orgasm but sometimes don’t, but it’s also possible to play around without one and still feel satisfied.

Focus more on pleasure than orgasm, and ironically, you’re more likely to have an orgasm anyway, but even if you don’t, you’ll be perfectly fine.

Who masturbates?
Perhaps a better question is: “Who doesn’t?”

Because we don’t talk openly about sex or masturbation, you may be surprised to learn that the vast majority of us have self-pleasured at some point.

Now, you may not want to think about Grandma, your neighbor or your masturbation …… but like you, they have at least one “one-on-one get-together” …… if not many!

A national survey of Americans found that 71% of women ages 20-24, 84% of women ages 25-29 and more than 77% of women ages 30-59 have masturbated in their lifetime.

In the past month, about 43 percent of women ages 20-25, nearly half of women ages 25-29 and about 38 percent of women ages 30-49 masturbated.

Just those women who are willing to take the survey without feeling embarrassed – the actual number could be higher.

The morality of what this story is about? Have fun, and enjoy your company!

Female Masturbation Tip: Know Your Anatomy
Sexual stereotypes suggest that men are more sexual than women.

Well, nature seems to disagree, as women have great potential to experience pleasure and orgasm in many ways, including from the clitoris, the “G-spot”, the cervix and even the nipples (https: //www.tandfonline.com / doi / full /) 10.3402 / snp.v6.32578).

This should give you a clue, as many of the challenges women face sexually stem from negative social norms that promote sexual double standards: the

Sexuality is acceptable for men (5 brothers high!)
Women have bad sex (creepy!)
I think Christina Aguilera said it best in Can’t Hold Us Down.

“The more points this guy scores, the more glory he gets. While a girl can do the same thing, you call her a whore.”

In addition to connotations, while we usually think of sexual pleasure as coming from the clitoris and vagina, some women may feel pleasure and orgasm from nipple, neck and ear stimulation as well as from mental images alone.

Sex educator Barbara Carellas is known for focusing on the chakras while working through the breath to achieve orgasm. Women have an amazing capacity for hedonic pleasure, and although rare, some women report orgasms during childbirth.

This is not to say that you need to check out every orgasm site from the list, but rather to emphasize the range of possibilities. Pleasure and orgasm can be enjoyed as long as you respect yourself and others.

Parts for female masturbation
The female genitalia has a more detailed anatomy, with more hedonistic opportunities than just the small tip of the clitoris that we can see.

As Sheri Winston details in her book The Anatomy of Female Pleasure: A Secret Map of Buried Treasures, the female genitalia is like a shape-shifter: farther than the eye can see!

The diagram below depicts what she calls the “female erectile network”. This includes not only the head or tip of the clitoris, but also the shaft and legs of the clitoris, the vestibular bulb around the vaginal opening, the urethral sponge (often called the G-spot), and the perineal sponge between the base of the vagina and the anus.

Upon arousal, these areas become engorged and more sensitive. As the vestibular bulb swells, the vagina may begin to look “puffy” or “swollen”.

By stimulating the urethral sponge, some women experience orgasm and/or ejaculation – the discharge of fluid from Skene’s glands. These glands are located at the base of the urethra and are similar to the male prostate (sometimes called the “male G-spot”).

This stimulation is usually felt only at moderate to high levels of arousal. If it feels uncomfortable, such as an alien poking into you, or if you have to pee badly – you probably haven’t paid enough attention!

What about female ejaculation?
There is much debate in the scientific community and across the Internet about whether women can actually ejaculate or whether they just pee.

Indeed, it’s both-some women do ejaculate, some women pee but think they’re ejaculating, and others are definitely incontinent-no doubt about it.

The fluid that is expelled when a woman ejaculates may be white, milky or clear.

If you have a super-abundant amount of fluid, it is yellowish in color, smells, and is not necessarily surprising – chances are you will be peeing.

If you feel a pleasurable sense of release (which may or may not be accompanied by an orgasm), and if the fluid is clear or white and small in volume (although the variation can be significant), then you are likely to ejaculate.

At the end of the day, do whatever feels good to you! Put down a towel first! (Note: If you are very worried, “Puppy pads” and incontinence pads work well, and if it feels too “medical”, put a towel over it and you won’t even know it’s there.)

Let’s be clear, you don’t have to ejaculate to enjoy yourself. Many women enjoy vaginal stimulation without ejaculation.

Women can also enjoy vaginal play without orgasm. However, those who do have orgasms from vaginal stimulation may be more mentally focused and aware of these sensations.

And, don’t let the cervix be left out of the party!

Pleasuring the cervix
The cervix is often overlooked, but it can be a huge source of pleasure.

Deep vaginal penetration can stimulate the cervix, which may feel uncomfortable, tight or painful if it doesn’t cause enough stimulation.

However, when you provoke and desire the sensation, it can be extremely pleasurable and cause the entire body to feel an extremely intense orgasm!

Anal arousal
Many women find the anal area to be a hot spot for relaxation.

Touching, rubbing and inserting fingers or Suction Cup Dildo are all possible. In one study, 9% of the 205 women surveyed experienced anal orgasms.

Orgasms vary from place to place
You may notice that the sensations of pleasure and orgasm can vary depending on where you touch your body. This is because these areas are connected to different nerves, resulting in different sensations.

For example, the clitoris connects to the pubic nerve, the vagina (and anus) connects to the pelvic nerve, and the cervix connects to the pelvic, vagus, and hypogastric nerves. (https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1743609515339400)

Clitoral orgasms may be felt primarily in the clitoris; vaginal orgasms are usually deeper and felt more throughout the body.

Meanwhile, cervical orgasms are very powerful – they can be felt throughout the body and are described with phrases like “shower of stars” or “generally spacious images”.

Even when stimulating the vagina and/or cervix, most women will include the clitoris (https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/9781119266136.ch13).

If you stimulate two or more of these areas, you may feel more sexual satisfaction.

In short, play around, discover and enjoy what feels good for your body. It may change over time as well as with experience, stress, emotion, relationship quality and life events.

And more reasons to keep exploring!

Understanding Your Inner Sexual World
Yes, masturbation is about touching yourself, but just as important (if not more so) is what is going on inside you and within you during the process.

What fascinates you? What turns you off? How do you like to feel emotionally when it comes to sex?

Sex researcher Emily Nagosaki describes what she calls “sexual gas pedals” and “sexual decelerators” in her amazing book, “Becoming You: The Surprising New Science of Changing Your Sexuality.

Like driving a car, the accelerator speeds up the arousal process, while the decelerator applies the brakes. A good sexual experience, either alone or with a partner, increases the accelerator and decreases the decelerator!

Accelerators and decelerators may include, but are not limited to

How you feel about your body
Emotions such as love, feeling supported, trust, being special to someone
Sensory experiences such as massage, light touch or tickling
How your relationship with your partner is developing
Pregnancy/STD issues
The appearance of your partner’s (or fantasy partner’s) body
The state of your and/or your partner’s hygiene
The condition of your surroundings, such as a messy or tidy room
Specific settings, such as bathrooms, department store dressing rooms, etc.
Emotions
Stress and life circumstances
For many women, it is the “situation” around sex that drives them forward. We have a cultural belief that when you meet a sexy person, sexual arousal should be automatic, as we often see in movies and pornography.

But, as Emily Nagosaki (Nagoya) found, only about 15% of women experience sexual arousal spontaneously, while about 75% of men do!

Another 30 percent of women (and 5 percent of men) experience an erotic response – they only start wanting sex after the sexy stuff starts. They may prefer that their partner take the lead and allow them to respond.

This leaves about 65% of women (and 20% of men) whose desire depends on context-that is, they crave sex when the situation feels erotic and includes their preferred sexual enhancer.

The great thing about masturbation is that it can help you learn more about gas pedals, decelerators and styles of desire. While this helps with self-pleasure, it can also improve sexual communication with your partner.

How to masturbate for women: fantasies, obsessions and kinks …… my goodness!
During masturbation, some women tend to focus on their physical sensations, others emphasize their fantasies, while others focus on both.

There is no right or wrong, the most important thing is that your presence, degree and personal satisfaction is most important to you.

What about fantasies and obsessions?

Sexual fantasies are the mental images or stories that make us grow.

The term “fetish” technically describes a specific object or behavior that a person needs to reach orgasm (which we don’t usually think of as sexual), but most people use the term to describe non-normative sexual interests.

Basically, fantasies, obsessions and kinks are the thoughts, feelings, objects, sexual acts and scenarios that turn us on.

They are gas pedals!

Many women feel uncomfortable or ashamed of their fantasies. But fantasies are common – so if you have a problem, then most people do! Fantasy is a form of adult “play,” just as we used to play “make-believe” with dolls and trucks.

Our fantasies don’t necessarily mean that we want to do the same in real life. You may be impressed by the transcendence of the “rape fantasy” as many women (and men) are, but it is not about the desire to be raped in real life. It’s more about relinquishing control, so don’t feel too weird about it.

Sex researcher Justin Lehmiller surveyed more than 4,000 Americans and found that the seven most common sexual fantasies were

Multi-partner intercourse (threesomes and threesomes)
Sexual abuse (bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism)
Novelty and variety (new and different settings or partners)
Taboo behavior (social and cultural “taboos”)
Passion and romance
Non-monogamous relationships
Sympathy and gender bending (same-sex or gender role-play)
As you can see below, both men and women have many of these fantasies, although women have more same-sex fantasies than men

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